This message was first posted on Instagram on July 20/25.
I want to share something about which I’ve only recently become fully aware, but which has been percolating within me for at least several months.
The simple truth is that I’m not simply and categorically male. I’m still figuring this out, but it’s time to come out publicly with what I understand about myself so far. It’s a process and I’m learning as I open up to this realization.
If you’re looking for a label you could say I’m Bigender or Dúal Anam (Irish for two-souled). Aside from some changes to my hair and wardrobe, you might not notice anything different about me. I actually haven’t changed at all, it’s just that I now have a much clearer idea of who I really am.
I feel a deep satisfaction with this new awareness; a grounded homecoming that is healing a lifetime of shame. I like a lot of things about being a man, and I also feel a profound and essential connection to the feminine in me. I’m learning to honour her, making her real in me.
Just so you know, I’m not in any kind of crisis. On the contrary, I’m absolutely living my best life and, because I’m having so much fun these days, I’m able to acknowledge and make real this new awareness. I’m feeling quite light and playful about it all.
The name that has come to me is Daisy. I’m really not all that fussy about how you address me. I like the name Hugh so don’t feel you have to change it up, but I’m also trying on this new name, which combines for me a surreal combination of hilarity and sweetness. Please use whichever of these names feels right for you. I’m certainly not yet used to my new name, so it’ll take time.
I’m also good with whatever pronouns. I’m used to He/Him, but I’d be fine with She/Her too. And there’s nothing wrong with They/Them.
I’m grateful to my partner, Keri Nelson, who has supported me with so much love and understanding, has provided much wise and compassionate counsel, and has witnessed my evolution through this natural and organic process with curiosity and compassion.
I’m grateful to my kid, Charlie and her partner Lucy, who have shown me the way to be who I really am, proudly and freely.
And I’m grateful to my absolutely awesome and loving step-daughters, Talia & Miriam, for giving me the gift of their support and love.
Let me know if you’d like to connect. It’s an interesting ride and I’d be happy to chat.
